I found out about a week ago that I've been selected as a Lockheed Martin scholar. I didn't hear anything back from them for a long time, so I didn't think I'd get this scholarship- quite the surprise. Anyways, it's worth $500, which as far as scholarships go is decent I suppose. But the real kicker is that they said they'd hook it up with a summer internship. That alone would be worth it. But yea, I haven't heard anything more from the company after that, so I dunno. Hope they didn't forget...

So the university is having Honors Day this upcoming weekend, and they've released a list of the students they're honoring. Students are listed as either Distinguished Scholars (4.0 GPA) or College Scholars (anything less). Alas, I am only on the College Scholars list. Now, I have no problem losing to absolute strangers, but browsing through the list and seeing familiar names on the Distinguished Scholars list stirred some old emotions of bitterness, jealousy, and inferiority. It's just remnants of that high school era must-not-lost-to-anyone-I-know feeling. I know it shouldn't really matter since there's no class ranks here, but blarrggg... old habits die hard. =/ But man, dangit, the distinguished scholars get medals. Medals! Bah, and now I'll never get that shiny worthless piece of metal. =( Man, losing your 4.0 is akin to losing your virginity- once lost, it can never be recovered. Savour your GPA maidenhood, hahah.

Connie came down from MIT to visit this weekend. Man, having guests here really just rubs in the fact that I have no idea what's fun to do here at college, hahah. Anyways, so the posse went bowling at the Union on Friday night. Then Saturday night, Connie, Stephen M., Tony, Minnie, and I went downtown and had dinner at PF Chang's. I'd never been there before, so it was quite interesting. We kept poking fun at how whitewashed the whole place was- we were the only Asian customers there, and when we said we hadn't been to PF Chang's before, the waitress explained to us what soy sauce was for (apparently you use it in place of salt! Really? I never would have guessed.). AHAHAHA, oh the irony of it all- I got a big kick out of that. Anyways, later, we went to 6th and walked around for a bit (if you've never seen the spraypaint artist guy, you should go watch him sometime) before ending up at Paradox. It was one of the better sober clubbing experiences I've had, definitely. Afterwards, we went to Taco Cabana, where I proceeded to get outwitted by a drunkard, hahaha. He offered to buy our meal if we let him cut in line. Well, we never got the food, so I can only assume that the wino pulled a fast one on me, hahah. Whatever though, I wasn't that hungry anyways; eating just feels like the proper thing to do after clubbing- like dinner and a movie (, or movie and java back in the old days). On the way back, we saw these two towtrucks with their headlights off tow away a car in like 30 seconds, after which the owner ran off chasing it. The whole thing was really shady- I think we may have just witnessed grand theft auto, hahaha. Anyways, it was a fun weekend- a nice respite between two hell weeks.

Me, Flash, Deep Dish, and Moose went and watched Tripletts of Belleville at Dobie tonight. I dunno, I wasn't all that impressed with the whole thing. I mean, it wasn't bad, but I would have picked Finding Nemo as animated feature of the year over it also. Maybe I'm spoiled by all the anime I watch, but I just find those outlandish character designs to be slightly off-putting. And the movie kinda slips in there between what you expect of a serious cartoon and complete slapstick- kinda wishywashy about how seriously the audience is supposed to take it, in my opinion. But anyways, they showed the Salvador Dali/Walt Disney collaboration short movie Destino, which I did like. It was really trippy, as one would expect of a Dali work. So, Destino: thumbs up. Tripletts: thumb sideways (like how Zangief does it in the live-action Street Fighter movie, haha).

omg, I'm an idiot. I've skipped thermodynamics class so many Fridays in a row that I completely forgot what time class actually was. And then today, on the rare occasion that hw is due in class on Friday, I get jacked. I walk into the classroom at 3:00 and find it completely abandoned. I dig into my backpack and dig out my planner to check my schedule. D'OH! *slap my forehead* ...class was at 2:00. =/

Went and watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight at Barton Creek. I liked it a lot. Makes you realize how precious memories are. Something about trying to fight off the inevitable act of forgetting really struck a chord with me. (Did I mention that brain damage and Alzheimer's are way up there on my list of fears?) But yea, it made me think about how we can replay those terrible moments again and again in our minds, but we can't change the fact, no matter how badly we want to. Quite an emotional trip. The film made me feel really nostalgic. It also made me really want a girlfriend. =/

Spring Break was rather uneventful on the whole. Relaxing definitely, but wholly unproductive- just the way I like it, heheh. Grandparents were there for the break, played mahjong. I watched Starsky & Hutch with the usual movie posse- absolutely hilarious; there were 3 spots where I couldn't stop laughing: the "dragons," the knives, and jumping the boat. Also watched Peter Pan for 50 cents- it was exactly what you'd expect. Played poker once, lost. Went to Barnes & Noble and read comic books. I read League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Vol. 1 and thought it was really boring. Finished reading Sandman Vol. 1, pretty interesting. Ate sushi buffet & steak- the 2 things I absolutely must eat every time I come home. =P Trained kung fu a couple times. Got a really [weird] haircut: kept my sideburns long, and the top is short except for one side of the front... it's just plain odd- I was trying to be creative. =/ Oh yea, and I got a new 120Gb hard drive from Fry's. Man, it was such a pain installing it: the insides of HP's are arranged absolutely horridly- it's like they reeeeaaally don't want you changing anything in there. Had to pull off the heatsink to reach the expansion slot, and the wires are a mess, uggghhh... pain in the butt. Also bought some new jeans (JNCO, of course); I've had to toss out 2 pairs this year- jeans that I'd been wearing since 7th grade, like 6 or 7 years. So sad having to throw them out. =( Man, it's so hard finding jeans you like that you'd be glad to wear for years; Yi-Lin sums it up quite well. Anyways, I think that was about it for my break- waaaaay too short. =/

Just got home to Plano for Spring Break- a well-deserved rest, heheh. It's been a pretty hectic week or so. The maker or breaker test in fluids and a test in accounting. Blehhh, whatever. But yea, lemme see what else I've done recently... I went to two house parties: the Lamda Wayback, and a GB party. Not bad, but not many people I knew at either. Still can't hold down my firewater. Went to Sushi Sake last weekend; spent $50 for my own food- pricey but quite good- the best sushi I've had in Austin so far. Also, me & Michael demo'ed wushu again last weekend for exploreUT. We were sooooo bad, hahaha. As usual, we choreographed our own 2-man set on the spot, but this time, we like forgot it all and were just faking it onstage. We were gonna do whip vs. sword, but that didn't work so well. Then we tried doing sword vs. folding chair (a la professional wrestling)- also a flop. we ended up doing sword vs. barehand. Woulda been pretty decent if we'd managed to remember it all, I think. Oh well, whatever, hopefully the untrained eye couldn't tell the difference anyways.

So I've got this habit of keeping pencils in my pocket. And so as not to get lead all over the inside of my pocket (since I don't like using pocket protectors- yes, I do own one... it was complimentary, I swear! hahaha), I tend to keep the pencils with the tip facing upwards. But yea, it just so happens that I also keep my keys and cellphone in that same pocket. Well today, I had a freshly sharpened pencil in my pocket when I was reaching for my keys, and the pencil just absolutely impales my finger. Ok, well, maybe "impales" is a bit too strong a word, but I got a hefty bit of lead under the skin. I managed to wash a lot of it out, but there's still a bit stuck in there. I hear that stuff stays in forever, so I'm debating whether I should do some more amateur surgery and cut it out.

But yea, I was thinking about why I keep the pencil there in the first place. I guess it's like the schoolboy equivalent of the Boy Scouts' motto: "Be prepared." I think it's probably some deep repressed fantasy of every nerdy kid to save the day with his wits. Some damsel in distress would be like, "Oh brave engineer, save me- I've forgotten how to differentiate this function!" And pencil in hand, I'd have to slay the "beast." The pen(cil) is mightier than the sword, right? Haha, ok, so maybe it's just me, but hey, "It could happen!" (a la the old school McDonald's commercials)

Also, I was thinking about that callus that I like to refer to as the "writer's bump." You know, that knot on the lowermost joint of the middle finger on the writing hand. Well, I was thinking how in stories about the old days, they could look at your hands and be like, "You've never worked a day in your life, have you, boy?" (presumably by the calluses on your palms) Anyways, isn't the writer's bump kinda like that for modern society? (Well, maybe not so much since the advent of typewriters/computers, but) Couldn't you judge how much hard intellectual "labor" a person has done by how calloused their writer's bump is? Thought that was rather interesting parallel.

Anyways, while on the subject of all things nerdy, check this article on Why Nerds are Unpopular. (link via my roommate, Victor)

"'So what do you want to do with your life?' You should be a lawyer, a doctor, an accountant, a consultant... blah, blah, blah.' Everywhere you turn people try to tell you who to be and what to do with your life. We call that the noise. Block it. Shed it. Leave it for the conformists. As a generation, we need to get back to focusing on individuality. Self-construction rather than mass-production. Define your own road in life instead of traveling down someone else's. Listen to yourself. Your road is the Open Road. Find it. Find the open road."
~from a flyer for PBS's documentary "The Open Road"

...word, yo.

Man, it's always hard finding out that you're not as smart as you think. Seriously, this semester has just been terrible for me- a series of miscommunications, mishaps, and a pinch (more like an entire handful) of laziness thrown in for good measure. Man, I wish I could just load up a save point and redo it all. =/ But yea, yesterday was just terrible. I go to fluids class, and the professor asks to talk to me after class, during which he proceeds to tell me: "So the hw grader tells me you're an idiot..." Well, maybe not in so many words, but that was the general gist of it. Ugghh, have I mentioned how much I HATE fluid mechanics? I'm for real: if you ever have to take a fluid mechanics class, CRY, and cry a lot- get it all out of your system.

Did a bit of voting this week. I decided to do my civic duty and voted for my first time in the primaries. I did the early voting thing, which turned out to be absolutely pointless, cuz I voted for Edwards- right before he took a beating on Super Tuesday and withdrew from the race. First Howard Dean then Edwards... man, how come my choice candidates always disappoint? =/ I also voted for student government. Man, this year's election has been surrounded by so much controversy- I don't see why they get so worked up over this, ugghhh. Too much drama. It's my personal opinion that the student government really holds little to no power anyways. It's all just bravado to make students think we actually have a say in things. Do they think having an official SG resolution saying that tuition shouldn't be raised would actually get them to lower tuition? Did they really think that passing that resolution saying we didn't support the war on Iraq in its opening days would have any effect at all on troop movements? Dude, they need a party that's like "Reality Check" or something. I think that Bears Can't Vote party had a platform that was kinda like that, but it's hard to take a party seriously when the presidential candidate shows up for a televised debate dressed in a snowman costume, haha.

*Oh yea, man, I always work up a sweat doing my laundry. It's frustrating cuz I tend to shower right before doing laundry, but then afterwards I feel all dirty again. Blehhhh...

I ended up pulling an all-nighter last night. The result? A lab report that I'm kinda iffy on and math hw that turned out wasn't even due. But yea, man, that lab report confirms it: I have absolutely no idea what the heck is going on in fluid mechanics. That class just isn't intuitive to me at all. Blehhh, really makes me rethink this whole aerospace thing. =/ The all-nighter got me sick again too... just after I'd recovered from that last illness. Suxorz.

So yea, I uninstalled Diablo 2. =( It was a tough decision, VERY hard. But in the end, I think it was for the best- it just wasn't doing good things for me. So I'm gonna try to break this addiction by quitting cold turkey. It's kinda funny, I had this post-it note stuck to my play cd for all of last week reading "No Diabo till Friday!" Well, this week I scratched out the word "Friday" and replaced it with "EVER!" and stuck it over my computer, haha. But yea, oh how it calls to me, and I find myself hard-pressed to resist its siren's call... my PRECIOUS! hahaha, but seriously, in the game, when you first get to Diablo, he says something like, "Not even DEATH can save you from me!" Funny, I had always thought it was a statement to your avatar in-game, but only now do I realize the bitter irony: he was talking about real-life, and how the thought of playing will chase and haunt you long after you've popped that CD out. *le-sigh* =/