teenage angst...

*sigh* chronic depression resurfacing... =(

This weekend was the PSHS prom.
On Friday, we wore our prom shirts, that had like stick figure caricatures of everyone in our group. We got a lot of compliments about them. The design was great, but the shirts fit horridly though. =/ When I got off from school, I went to the tux place to pick up my stuff. Well, they couldn't get a hold of the stuff I ordered, so I had to change my order and I'd hafta pick up the tux the next day.

After that, we went over to Emily's place to eat, and the girls had made us these customized placemats- very cool. =) After dinner, we went to Nickelrama and played arcades for a couple hours. Ruth hit the jackpot with the tickets, and got me some fuzzy pink dice, hahaha. Then we all went to Debbie's dad's house to chill. We ate brownies and icecream and stuff. They wanted to play twister, but that lasted all of about 5 seconds before we decided that was stupid. Then we played guys vs. girls charades. It was really fun, and we are all thoroughly amazed by Ruth's ability to guess impossibly difficult puzzles. Went home around midnight, and fell asleep almost immediately. Man, I've just been feeling really un-energetic recently.

On Saturday, we started practicing dragon dance again in performance training, and that gave me blisters all over my hands. =( I picked up the tux and corsage on my way back from kung fu. I tried to take a nap between kung fu and meeting for prom, but that didn't work out so well. We met up at Pasty's place around 6:00 and took pictures and stuff. Man, it was so unbelieveably hot out, we were all sweating like crazy. I used a Kleenex to wipe off the sweat, but didn't realize for the longest time that it was leaving little tissue specks all over my face, D'OH! Anyways, we ate dinner at Cafe Capri, I think cuz Navid had the hookup; dinner was great- Navid & George are hilarious!

The guys had decided not to take a limo, so instead, we got 2 suburbans, and the girls decorated them with Christmas lights. From dinner, we went to South Fork Ranch, where the dance was being held. Ruth was adamant about not getting our picture taken, despite me practically begging & pleading, so no official pic. =/ I saw a lot of old friends and acquaintances at the dance, which was cool. But man... I guess I've just got a bad history with school dances, they always tend to disappoint me. They make me realize I'm not nearly as close to my date as I previously thought. I was pretty upset that I was having such a hard time [connecting] with Ruth since we're really good friends online. The whole occasion seemed highly... [impersonal]. I got the vibe that she just didn't particularly want to be there with me. =( Well, I dunno, I better not go into that...

Anyways, Ruth & I didn't end up dancing together very many times. How ironic... now that I've finally gotten over my dread of dancing, there is no dancing to be done. =/ So to amuse myself elsewhere, I got together with Kevin & Edward and we started goofing off, doing a bunch of silly stuff. Heh, that was probably the highlight of my evening- just going crazy with those two.

We left prom a little early and went back to Pasty's house to change for afterprom. At this point, everyone was feeling dead (tired); I'd actually had that dead feeling all week, but now I was physically tired as well. Afterprom was something of a disappointment. The food was better than West's but there was less to do. After losing several hands of blackjack and saying hi to a couple people, I was basically just wandering around aimlessly. I took Ruth home around 4:00, came home, and plopped to sleep.

*Oh yea, and my brother was home from college this weekend. I saw him a total of maybe 5 minutes.

Ugggghhh... super stressful week. A flurry of tests and presentations throughout the week. And reviews for the AP economics test started this week after school too. And after schol on Wednesday, we took a practice AP exam for physics C. I mean, it woulda been hard to begin with, but everyone's concentration was already dwindling from a day of thinking at school. We took the kinematics section first and then the E&M section. During the E&M free response part, there was a power outage, and everyone just went crazy with laughter/joy. It was just so ironic that the power would go out while we were taking a test on electricity, haha. Then today (Thursday), another econ review, then I had a dinner with the Spanish honor society at Tia's. (It counted as a meeting, otherwise probably no one would have gone, heheh.) The food was great. I went to martial arts club directly from Tia's. I was too full, so I didn't feel like moving much. Well, I managed to get myself (semi-) kicked in the throat... hurt like crazy... couldn't breathe well for a long time.

*Man, I've put on a serious GUT this week. It's crazy how these things manage to sneak up on you. On a day-to-day basis, I guess you don't pay attention too much. But then you wake up one day and look in the mirror, and it's like MAN, I'm fat! Hahaha. But man, how could I let this sneak up on me with prom this weekend and all??? ARRRGGGG... And my face is breaking out too, NOOOoooOOOOoOO!!!

**On Saturday, I realized that it hurt to swallow big chunks of food. And when I press around, there's something that pops back and forth in my throat... hmmm... I don't think that's normal. =/

I've had this weird scar near my left armpit for several months now. It looks like a cross between a burn and a knife scar, and it's located right where the bicep meets the shoulder. The funny thing is, I've got no idea where it came from. I figured I probably got cut and didn't remember... but tonight, I noticed some similar scars starting to form on my right arm. Man, weird... if it gets worse, maybe I should go see a doctor or something. =/

I got my acceptance letter for the UT FYEHP (engineering honors) and my National Merit scholarship offer today in the mail. Not too shabby.

*My mom's back from Taiwan! YAY! =)

I've had this problem in my head for a long time, but I didn't feel motivated to solve it until today at Chinese school when I saw it actually happen: At exactly what times do the hands on a clock align on top of each other?

At first, I did it using a brute force method- plotting cosine functions and finding intersections. Then I gave it some more thought, and I figured there had to be some kind of pattern. After some more analysis, I postulated that if one hand moves around the clock N times in the time it takes another to go around once, then the hands will align in exactly (N-1) locations. In addition, these (N-1) locations will be equally spaced around the clockface. Therefore, if you evaluated 60n/11 (for n = integers from 0 to 10, inclusive), you'd find the minutes at which the hands align on a real 12-hour clock. I checked it, and the numbers matched up with the intersections from the cosine graphs. I still don't get how or why it works this way though... weird.

Man, it took me like 2 hours of number crunching (mostly as mental math) to verify my hypothesis. Haha, how dorky is that? That this is the kind of thing I sit around thinking about. =P Well, anyways, in case you ever wanted to know, here are the times at which the hands on a clock align (rounded to the nearest minute): 12:00, 1:05, 2:11, 3:16, 4:22, 5:27, 6:33, 7:38, 8:44, 9:49, and 10:55.

I went and watched The Scorpion King this afternoon with some friends. I thought it was a fun, but not very intellectually stimulating experience- exactly what one would come to expect from the Rock. I didn't see the connection between this movie and The Mummy Returns though.

*Oh, and my mom's coming back from Taiwan for a week for some kind of job/unemployment orientation type thingy.

Regional UIL was today down at Baylor. 2 of our team members didn't show up, so we had 3 people doing everything. The first test we took was the calculator. Man, I did the worst on the team; I didn't even manage to get a 3-digit score. AUGGGHHH! I was so embarasssed. =( Yea, we got thoroughly slaughtered, to say the least. After calculators was number sense (mental math). The 3 of us from Plano West all said we did crappy- we were in pretty poor spirits at that point. We finished number sense at around 11:30, and the next competition (mathematics) wasn't until 2:30. We had a team meeting, and we agreed that we didn't stand a chance. And in light of the long wait, and the size of the margins by which we were being beaten, we decided to withdraw from the competition and come home early. =/

mmmm... crawfish season! I've got no feel for prices, but apparently it was a killer deal. Me & my dad finished off 10 lbs. by ourselves. yuuuummmm! haha, it only took us like an hour and a half.

You know, while I was eating, I got to thinking... what if an animal (such as the crawfish) just suddenly went extinct? Would future generations just never get to taste that Cajun greatness? Or what if it was a cow? ...man, to think, one day, people might not ever get to savour the heavenly flavor of beef- what a horrid thought! It's like how they say that in the future, kids'll never get to see animals like elephants in person, and all they'll know is what they've read in books. But whereas looks can be discerned from pictures, how can you ever preserve a taste??? =/ Man, it's only when I put it in those terms that it strikes me how extinction is FOREVER! Haha, how typical of me... always thinking with my stomach.

Well, at the UIL math meeting today, I found out that I did better than I thought on the mathematics. I got 5th place, and the team got 2nd. Well, the thing that sucks is that the first place team Berkener (and all its individuals) dropped out, so as alternate, we're up. Now, normally I'd be pretty happy about this, but the thing is... the regional competition is down in Waco, which is like hours away, and the number sense competition (which I was already gonna take) is the first contest, and the mathematics is the very last. That means we've gotta leave Plano like at 5:30ish AM and won't get home til like 6:00PM, on Saturday. Bleehhhhh... what a way to kill a weekend. =( Maaaan, it's not like we stand a very good chance anyways... the schools that win these are seriously elite; like from what I've heard, their individual scores (for number sense) are as good as our 3-person combined team scores! uggghhh... this is gonna suck...

We had a pizza party at martial arts club tonight. We watched The One and parts of Kiss of the Dragon. Good stuff.

*Oh yea, on a sidenote, I busted up a fan at the place where we hold our meetings- knocked off one of the fan blades. D'OH! Kinda like, they get my teeth, I get their fan... hahaha, wait a sec, I got the short end of the stick, huh? Aw CRIKEY! hahaha.

Man, these super-realistic dreams of mine are really starting to screw me over. Yesterday, I thought that my dad had called me and told me to meet him at a restaurant, when he hadn't- so I ended up showing up at the restaurant like 30 minutes early. And this morning, I thought that my dad had already come to wake me up, and I'd fallen back asleep, when the whole incident hadn't really happened. And on more than one occasion, I've had dreams that I was doing my hw, then I get to school and realize that it's not really done... that's just killer.

My dad had told me a couple days ago about the death of a Chinese boy in the area by the name of Eric (W.). I have a hard time putting together names & faces, so at the time, I just passed it off as though it was nobody I knew, and it didn't affect me. Well, today, my Chinese teacher was discussing the matter in class, and she mentioned his Chinese name. Then it struck me that this was someone that I did know- that had been in my class several times in the past. It wasn't until then that I felt sad. One of those montages played through my head, retracing scenes of everything I could remember about Eric. Man, it just hits so much closer to home once you realize a deceased person was someone you knew. =(

I went to Plano West's afterprom party, even though I didn't attend the actual prom. It ran from 1:00 to 4:00AM, so I picked up Ruth and we went together. I guess it wasn't bad, but I thought afterprom would be so much more exciting. Here are the highlights: mechanical bull riding, giant inflatable slide & obstacle course, blackjack, and FREE DONUTS!!! And I saw several friends I hadn't seen in awhile. But I didn't win any of the doorprizes, so that wasn't cool. Ehh, I guess all-in-all it wasn't a bad way to spend the early hours of a Sunday morning.

*Oh yea, and I got a haircut yesterday (04/13) in preparation for Plano's prom in 2 weeks. That's like me & my friends' rule of thumb for getting haircuts before important events: we get it cut 2 weeks in advance so it'll have time to grow back in case of a mild to medium-size screw-up. Anyways, the hairstylist did a really good job yesterday. MAN, if I'd known it'd be so good, I wouldn't have bothered with the 2 week rule. Blahhh...

State science fair was yesterday and today. I missed school yesterday to compete. We got there (the Arlington Convention Center) really early, and we waited around for like an hour+ to start. Well, things didn't go all that great. We only got one judge that really understood what we were talking about. Yea, and we all (several of the guys from Plano ISD) put tape on our pants for good luck, but apparently it didn't work, cuz we still got slaughtered, hahaha, D'OH! Yea, the awards ceremony was today, and Kevin & I came home empty-handed. Ehhh... I guess I wasn't too disappointed that we didn't win anything, since we're going to ISEF already anyways, but I was upset that my friends didn't do well enough to advance. =/

cascarones... suckage. Man, I had to make cascarones (kinda like Easter eggs) for Spanish honor society. They took a LOT longer than I expected, and it was a very messy experience. geez... the things we do for pointage, haha.

My grandfather left for Taiwan this morning. That leaves just me & my dad... *sigh* so lonely. =(

Regional science fair was yesterday down at Fair Park (like always). The main judging was in the morning, and we managed to arrive fashionably late, heheh. Well, for once, we actually got special awards judges, so that was pretty cool. At around noon, they let us off, so Kevin (H.), Stephen (L.), and I decided to go downtown for lunch (; we were already in the area). Well, I found out that I absolutely cannot drive downtown, hahaha. We got lost both on the way there and the way back; they said we were lost, I said it was an "adventure," heheh. (We were lost!) =P But anyways, we ended up at the West End Marketplace (Mall) eating at the foodcourt, then chilling at the Tilt arcade afterwards. Man, I was soooo sleepy, I fell asleep in the chair of one of those Daytona racing games, hahaha. Yea, I didn't get much sleep the night before; everything just took a lot longer than expected. I thought it'd only take an hour or two, but it ended up taking all night.

But anyways, yea, then we went back to the convention center and waited outside for them to post the results. They like to tell us that they'll post it at a given time, then they post 'em late... happens every year; they must like torturing kids, haha. Kevin & I got first place in team life science again (after last year's outrage). Typically, this would mean that we get a direct trip to ISEF (the international science & engineering fair), but the PISD, which would normally foot the bill (for us) has been getting cheap lately, so I had to wait til today to find out what the deal was. But yea, we had to stick around several more hours for grand prize judging. Kind of pointless, really- they never give grand prize to teams anyway. =/

I got home around 7:00ish, plopped down and fell asleep instantly. I slept for like 14 hours- most refreshing. Daylight savings time though, blehhhh.

Today, after lunch, I had to go all the way back down to Fair Park for the meeting about advancing to state. Since the PISD decided to give us the free trip to ISEF already, they didn't really wanna foot the bill to send us to state also. I was perfectly fine with that; I mean the point of state is to make it to ISEF anyway, and they were just saving us the pain in the butt. But Kevin decides he wants to go, and I was just like, "You really wanna go? ugggghhh... fine, whatever..." Now I've gotta drag my butt down to Arlington next weekend to present, several times (since they're not putting us in hotels).

Oh, and I had to miss chinese school to go to that meeting today, grrrr... I like never miss chinese school! I brave heaven & hell, and screw myself over in the process to make it to chinese school. I don't really know why... it's not like it's particularly fun or anything; must be the principle of the thing.

Today was the last day for my calculus teacher, Mr. Gander. He's gonna be out for the rest of the year. Blehhhh... sucks. He was one of my more favored teachers, too. =( And plus, it's hard to find good calculus teachers (not to mention subs), so basically I think my calculus learning has pretty much ended for the year. =/

Oh, and I found out this week that my prospective UT roommate, Kevin (L.) is bailing on me cuz he got into UC Berkeley. Man, seriously, everyone is bailing on me... =(

ARRRRGGGG!!! I talked with one of the UT engineering head honchos yesterday to have them check my honors app status for me and told them to e-mail me back. Well, I found out that they never received my application, graaaagggghhh!!!

I attended a UT engineering dinner banquet tonight. They hosted it inside the EDS building; I'd never actually been inside before- it's really nice in there. Well, nothing exciting happened; same information they always give, rehashed yet again. And apparently, they give out the same parting gifts at all their events too- I got the exact same t-shirt/pocket protector combo as last time.

Oh, and I asked about the honors program, and apparently I was supposed to have found out my status already. Hmmmm... awfully suspicious. You know, actually, I'm kinda worried, cuz I had the school registrar mail it for me. But the day I handed it to them, the lady that's usually running it was sick, and they had like a sub who didn't really act like what she was doing. Man, if UT never got my app, SOMEBODY AT THE REGISTRAR IS GONNA DIE!!!

My mom left for Taiwan this morning, not to return at least through the end of summer. I gave her a reeaaally big hug; I'm gonna miss her... a lot. =(

*sigh* It all begins to fall apart. One by one they abandon me...

I went shopping with my mom tonight... might be the last chance I get for awhile. =(

...and Stanford can go screw itself too!!! grrr... rejected!

Wow, that just does wonders for my self-esteem. Man, I didn't honestly think I was getting in, but it sure woulda been great to know that I was worthy of something better than... UT... *shudder*. Uggghhhh... I feel the intellectual lifeblood seeping out of me. *sigh* Life is not good.

And thus ends my "trophy" hunt: 0/2... =(

*Oh wait, I get it... APRIL FOOL's! Hahah, ok, funny... that was a good one, guys. Joke's over... please? Tell me I got in, I BEG of you...