Ok, so I just made a huge fool out of myself tonight. The AES was hosting a panel event and we were hoping a lot of people would show up, but then no one did. So I get sent out to find random people to sit in so the presenters wouldn't think it was so ghetto. They suggested I go to the civil engineering labs, cuz one of the presenters was from that department. So I go into the lab, and everyone's kinda just sitting dumbly in front of their computers, so I announce quite loudly, in my presentation voice, how we were having an event and there was free food and all, and how they should all go. And I said something along the lines of, "Yea, you don't have to listen. Even if you don't even like civil engineering, just come out and eat our food." And when I stop, it's dead silent. Then this lady turns around and says, "Ummm, this is a class!" =O I couldn't even muster up a proper apology I was so embarassed. I like ran out of there cuz I could feel my face getting really really red, hahaha. Man, I felt like such a freaking idiot. =(

I went to a speech by Stan Lee (creator of Spiderman, Daredevil, Hulk, etc.) tonight at the Union with Lena and Rex. It was a pretty interesting "speech" considering he didn't come with anything prepared to talk about in particular. But yea, I guess old men just have a lot of stories to tell, and things work out, haha.

*So Monday and Wednesday nights of this week were pretty hellish in terms of study. Man, how I hate seeing the sun rise on sleepless nights. You know, that reminds me of that Jack Handey quote: "With every new sunrise, there is a new chance. But with every sunset, you blew it." Hah, except for me, I think the roles of sunrise and sunset are quite the opposite. Dang it, I have so much trouble getting "in the zone" to study this semester, blehhhhh.

I really like the art style on these videos from Face the Issue. But yea, I think I'm always bordering on the edge of depression. That whole "feeling of worthlessness" thing seems to be on the rise for me recently. =/

*Also, check out this online planetarium simulator. I was rather amused. But yea, I've never lived anywhere isolated enough from ambient light to be able to see all those stars- so everything seemed more cluttered on the simulator, but I guess that's how it'd look away from the city.

Man, why do they make the bags of Pepperidge Farms cookies so freaking hard to open? My guess is that it serves as a final warning as to what you're about to do to your diet. It's like an "abandon all hope ye who enter here" for all those silly notions you had of slimming down. That annoying packaging is like their subtle way of asking you, "are you sure you want these cookies?" It gives you that extra 30 seconds of time to contemplate all the calories and fat you're about to consume. Darn you Milano, why do you have to be so good?

it's just not the same...

you hope it'll be the same: that things'll be just like how they used to be. But they're not- there's still something that lingers like a barrier. Unspoken words hanging on the tip of your tongue. Those trivial actions that now seem so wholly uninvited. Can't move and shake in that presence- it just seems so wrong. All the things you can't do anymore, at least not in good taste. That wall of un-feelings protects you and prohibits you at the same time. Things are just... [different] this time around.

...that, and you're way too sober for this. All of it.

Man, it's gotta be one of the most disappointing feelings ever, to overhear a classmate say that the hw took 10 hours, and then realize that you've only allotted yourself 2 hours to work on it before it's due. =/ *sigh* yup, so my structural analysis hw didn't exactly get finished. Well, I guess I "finished," but mostly with bogus answers. Blehhhh, man, I find myself shooting for partial credit a lot these days. Man, I guess if you play around with the noose too much, eventually you do get lynched. =(

I've been growing my hair out since about late July now I think. I'm not exactly sure what compelled me to do so, but I guess I figgered that I hadn't grown it out long for years, so I might as well give it a try to see how it looked. (And plus I was lazy and never got around to getting it cut.) But yea, I dunno, I don't think this is working out as well as I'd hoped. I think my head shape (or hair texture, actually) just isn't very well suited for long hair or something. =/ Yea, I'm already pretty sure it's not gonna turn out so well, but I think I'm gonna carry on with this project for at least a little while longer. If I cut it short now, part of me will always wonder how it would have looked; this way I'll see first hand how hideous long hair is on me. And then I'll know for sure that long hair isn't for me, and be done with it forever- get this silly notion out of my system. I don't want to leave any doubt in my mind, cuz then I'd hate to have to go through all this hair fuss again. =/

TASA night market was held tonight on main mall. I must say, it turned out a lot better than I had envisioned. Different Asian clubs set up booths with food, games, etc. Me and the Asian Engineering Society sponsored a DDR booth. It went pretty well, but dang, getting a hold of all the stuff was such a pain in the butt. For the record, anytime someone says you can borrow something "maybe," they really mean "no."

Several groups did performances also. The VSA did their dance thing from last year's Texas Revue- just as great as I remember. UT Wushu didn't wanna perform, so I kinda whipped together a martial arts show with Michael. I did it kind of as a favor to my brother, I guess, since he was largely responsible for coordinating the event. But yea, at first, I thought I'd be able to enlist the help of more people to perform, but that didn't exactly work out. So it ended up just being me & Michael. I said we were the "Wushu Underground," to distinguish ourselves from UT Wushu.

We did some traditional forms, a bit of contemporary, our dramatic reinterpretation of ground fighting, and a two-man fighting set that we choreographed that night. Inspired by Kill Bill, we decided to use red powerade as a prop- we would get a mouthful of powerade, and then one of us would "hit" the other, and we'd spew out the powerade as if it were blood. And we threw in a couple moves spoofing The Matrix that I thought were funny, but that Michael said were "omg, sooo gaaaaaaaay" - I guess I'm just more easily amused, haha. And of course, I had to add in the People's elbow (the wrestling move). And then we ended with our trademark sword impalement & decapitation. I thought the performance was kinda fun actually- I figured out that if I just tune out the audience completely, I don't care if I'm making a fool of myself. Things are just a lot more fun when you're not taking yourself too seriously.

But dang, I'm getting so out of shape. We had to take like mini-breaks in between forms since we were so out of breath. I got so sloppy on changquan; I was so tired that my ups were completely gone, and I nearly fell down cuz I landed a lot sooner than I expected on my jump front. Blehhh, gotta do some cardio to get back in shape. And I hurt myself during warmup doing a tornado kick. I guess in a "quickie stretch," I forget to stretch out my back, and I think I pulled it. =/

The night market in general was a lot of fun though. I think it's gonna be an annual event.

I went and took a practice GRE today. It was given by Kaplan, I guess as a "look how bad you did... you need our test prep services" kinda gig. It was basically just like the SAT. The practice test we did had an easy-cheesy math section, and then a pretty hard verbal section. (Just like the SAT, right?) The tricky thing is that they changed the format a couple years back, and now you take it on a computer, and the test is "adaptive," meaning that if you do well, it'll give you harder questions that are worth more points, and if you do bad, it'll assume that you're stupid and give you easier questions that are worth chump change. So basically, if you mess up at the very beginning, you're thoroughly jacked! Yea... I missed the third one on verbal, hahaha.

For the math, I had it in my mind that they'd test us on something crazy, like vector calc, or PDE's and that junk- but nope, it's all stuff that you'd know after high school geometry or so. On the math, the most noticeable difference was that you can't have a calculator, which, if you're smart about it, just tips you off to the fact that you're supposed to use approximations any time the numbers aren't pretty. Seriously though... they must have tested variations on the Pythagorean theorem like on nearly half the questions. I felt pretty good about the math, but there's always stupid mistakes. =/

Then, the verbal section, despite its superficial similarity to the SAT, was seriously like 10 times harder. And they added in an antonyms section. But yea, towards the end, it got so freaking hard. I mean, what the heck do "saturnine" and "jejune" mean??? Craziness. But yea, hopefully any engineering graduate program won't be too concerned with the verbal part, haha. Here's that problem #3 that I missed...

SCRUTINIZE : OBSERVE ::
A) excite : pique
B) beseech: request
C) search : discover
D) smile : grin
E) dive: jump

...the correct answer is B, but I put D. =/ Stupid test, grrrrrr, hahaha.

So the Chinese successfully launched their first manned space vehicle today. I'm quite interested in seeing how this'll affect the politics of the space game. Now granted, they're still about 30 years behind the US, but some healthy competition has always been the impetus for technological advancement and innovation in this field. I think the American space program basically stopped making bold strides ever since the cold war ended. Despite our current lead, I wouldn't completely discount the Chinese program. They could catch up faster than we think- you'd be surprised what determined Commies can do when they give it their all.

So I've been playing this new game, GunBound. It's a free online game. In terms of play mechanics, I guess it's kinda like Worms, or Scorched Earth, or the gorillas-tossing-bananas game if you're really old school. But they added a little twist- you earn money and buy armor and whatnot that changes your avatar's appearance and abilities, kinda like in Ragnarok. So they added that element of having to make money to make your character better- increasing the addictiveness of the game tenfold.

*Me & the guys went and saw Kill Bill tonight at Dobie. I thought it was pretty hilarious. The blood and gore is just so over-the-top that it's absurd, and you can't help but laugh. All that dismemberment and the gushing, gushing blood, hahaha- it's like watching a live-action Itchy & Scratchy episode or something. The martial arts were only mediocre, and it would have been a little dull if not for all the killing. The ball & chain girl had some nice moves though- I was rather impressed.

But yea, the director/editor also exhibited very good taste in ending the movie where he did. They cut it off right when you start to get a little bored cuz things are getting slightly repetitive. Oh, and the trailers beforehand were absolutely hilarious too. Sister Streetfighter! AHAHAHA.

I went and got UT lab safety certified this afternoon. They just make you sit through this 2 hour presentation of a little bit of know-how and a lot of common sense. They showed us this video thing about possible lab mishaps... the dramatic reenactments were hilarious, hahaha. But yea, you're supposed to get certified if you wanna work in any of the labs here on campus, but I honestly don't think they crack down or anything. Whatever, I got the certificate, I'm good to go.

So today was Double Ten. Man, I'd completely forgotten... I wouldn't even have remembered unless my EE331K professor (who is white, by the way,) hadn't said anything. But yea, no particular celebration on my part I guess.

I stumbled onto the blog of Korean American comedienne Margaret Cho (via blogdex) today. It's hilarious I think. I laughed so hard reading the "abstinence" and "Ann Coulter" entries that I'm gonna have to go and read like the whole site.

"Ann [Coulter] needs to get some Revlon's Cherries in the Snow, the ho's lipstick of choice. She is a ho in sheep's clothing, and it is about time she told the truth, the ho truth, and nothing but the truth."

Blehh... I got all of about 30 minutes of sleep last night. Had to do both linear systems AND spacecraft dynamics hw. Took a Wendy's break around like 3ish and saw Minnie, Pearl, and Steve there. Chilled for an hour+, which was probably not a good idea, in retrospect. Around 8:30am, I decided to call it quits and get some sleep... I slept till 9:00, then had to go to class. =/ Man, I get abnormal heartbeat sometimes, more commonly when I don't sleep. Beats really fast for a second or two, then gets really slow, then changes up again- arrhythmia I guess? Lack of regular aerobic exercise probably doesn't help either. I dunno, I think I've gotten used to it and don't really take it all too seriously... hah, watch me randomly die of a heartattack or something one of these days...

*It rained recently, and I found out that a jacket I bought in Taiwan that looked waterproof really wasn't. I guess that explains why it only cost like 2 US dollars, hahaha. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.... Speaking of which, the other day, I saw a guy out on the Drag spanging in khakis. Haha, yea, not getting much sympathy from me if your pants better than mine. (For those not 'in-the-know': "Spanging" is hobo jargon for spare-changing; H-town Daniel found out straight from the source, haha.)

The AES mentors went and had lunch at the Oasis out on Lake Travis today. It was pretty cool. Really nice scenery, and the food was pretty good too- TexMexish. I've always wondered, is the term "TexMex" exclusive to only Texas? Like if you go to Arizona, is it "ArizMex," or if you go to New Mexico, is it "NewMex"? Hell, who says it even has to be along the border? What about "TenneMex" or "WyoMex"? Whatever, call it what you will, but the Ese's probably call it bastardized, in the same way I refer to Americanized Chinese food. Anyways yea, Oasis is pretty cool; I'll have to go there again some time if I ever have a car here.

I went and watched Lost in Translation tonight with Michael, Rex, Deep Dish, and Flash. It was a lot of fun to watch, but not a lot happens in the course of the movie- pretty unmemorable in terms of plot. It's all about the mood, I guess. It really captures that feeling of being "lost" in a foreign place- not physically lost, but lost at heart and in soul. The movie hints at the problem of finding meaning to your life, but doesn't provide the answer- or at least if it did, I completely missed it. But yea, if nothing else, the movie's just fun to watch to see the oddities of Japanese culture.

for relaxing times...
make it Suntory time...

*Went to a party for the first time this year. House party of some guy I didn't know. Man, I always feel like I'm intruding when that's the case. Left for a bit with Kent to pick up Jess from my brother's place. We played Kings while we were there; it's this new card game which I think is pretty fun(ny). Had some really nasty tequila; tossed my cookies. Went back to the house party. Wasn't feeling it.

I attended a panel discussion this afternoon by UT engineering alumni who had gone on to become CEO's or some other bigwigs. They really stressed the need to take risks and to be versatile. Don't lock yourself into that frame of mind where it's like, ok, I'm an aerospace engineer, I'm ONLY looking for an aerospace job. When a good opportunity arises, don't restrict yourself by telling yourself what you can or can't do- if they want you for the job, then you've got what it takes. Several of the guys on the panel were originally chemE or something and ended up in the oil business (petroleum engineering). A lot of the stuff that you need to know for any given job is learned in employee training anyways. The stuff we learn in school, the entire engineering curriculum, is just teaching a way of thinking- how to look at a problem, approach it methodically, evaluate knowns and unknowns, deciding what needs to be sacrificed in order to optimize something else, etc., etc. Out in the "real" world, chances are we'll never use stuff like integral calculus again- the problem solving techniques we're learning as a side-effect are the important stuff.

They also de-emphasized GPA. Once you get out of college, NO one is gonna ask you what your GPA was. How much does GPA really tell you about a person anyways? It can't tell that you're a great leader, or you've got great people skills, all the stuff that isn't being tested. So when you go into an interview, forget about your GPA for a minute and just sell yourself as a person- cuz if you can sell yourself, you can sell a product... and the recruiters'll be like, hmmm, this kid's got upper management written all over 'em! Haha, well, maybe not like that, but yea- we're people, not numbers, so why not try to let them see us as people, and not merely as the personification of our GPA's?

Then they touched on the subject of getting an MBA. They recommended going into the workplace for awhile to gain some perspective. See where you are and where you wanna go; if the extra degree is actually going to help you. The MBA's not for everyone, and not all CEO's or upper management people have one. And basically everyone who had gotten an MBA said that they didn't really learn a whole lot- a mile wide, an inch deep. As opposed to what we're used to in engineering- like a deep, narrow hole straight into the ground.

Yup, I think there was some other good stuff, but apparently I forgot, haha...

Dang it, I hate when you get so hyped up on caffeine that when you finally do get a chance to sleep, you're still too wired to fall asleep, and then you end up rolling around in bed for a couple hours. Blahhh, yea, it's like that tonight.

*ARRRRGGGG... I got owned on the spacecraft dynamics test. It was killer. I just didn't prepare enough I guess. I walked out of the classroom with my head all cloudy, and all sounds muddled from my utter shock and confusion. (The sleep deprivation and the whole illness thing didn't help either.) But dang it, I bet I'm actually riding the low side of the curve this time. =/ Blehhh, gotta kick it into high gear.

Noose ef·fect - /nüs i-'fekt/ - [n.] (slang) 1. A condition in which the sufferer is incapable of productive activity until failure or defeat is imminent, 2. A sudden sharpening of the wits and increase of motivation to avoid near-certain catastrophe (esp. of the GPA), 3. Intellectual equivalent of fight-or-flight response.

So yea, I've got two tests coming up back-to-back in a couple hours- vector calculus and spacecraft dynamics. (Woulda been 3, actually, but one got postponed, so I guess I actually lucked out.) But yea, I didn't start studying seriously until tonight. Blaahhhh... so much material to cover. Only my second time studying in the library this year- and only the first where I was actually focused. Yup, just can't seem to do anything until I can feel that noose tightening around my neck, haha. Took a study break at Metro with Deep Dish, other than that, it's been hardcore study.