"...Like They Do on the Discovery Channel." If you're Asian, whenever you're with relatives for any extended period of time, the question will inevitably arise: "so are you dating anyone?", "when are you gonna get married?", or a variation on that theme. And I think my relatives thought for the longest time that I was gay, just cuz I never tell them anything, and apparently I don't hang out with females enough, hah. Well, my parents recently joined in- expressing concern that I never seem to have a gf. I think I responded with just a *hmph*, but inside it was like omg, I don't NEED that kind of PRESSURE. I just don't like forcing these things- I'll worry about it when I'm 30 and the biological clock is ticking, hah. But yea, I used to go through these spurts where I'd be real miserable and mopey over singledom. But it's been years now, and I guess I eventually got used to being single, and it just stopped bothering me- one less thing to worry about.

And on a day to day basis, I don't really consider myself to be "on the prowl." I've never been a really outgoing guy, and I don't like the whole idea of "the chase" in general- it feels so forced and unnatural for me. I'm just not a very adept predator and don't like the hunt at all, but I'll do it when I'm starving I suppose. I think I'd describe myself as more like a venus flytrap- only getting to eat when the prey wanders to me as opposed to the other way around. But I dunno, I mean, opportunities just don't seem to arise very often (, or maybe I just don't know how to create opportunities from everyday situations).

On the flip side of that though, any time I feel the least bit of chemistry with a girl, I get these like one-week crushes, and I despise that about myself. I feel like I form attachments way too easily sometimes- I hate being so pliable and vulnerable; I hate thinking I'm that easy to win over. You know it's just a temporary whimsical crush, but for awhile you just can't stop yourself from pining over the girl. Reason returns quickly enough (the state of mind usually fades when I don't talk to her for a week), but for that brief while, infatuation causes you to take leave of your senses like kryptonite on your IQ. And yea, nothing ever comes of it, but I'm guessing the only thing that keeps me from being a player is my lack of natural "game." Which is just as well, cuz I promised myself way back when (in middle school, hah) that I would never ever be a player. But still, the ups & downs of infatuation surely can't be healthy.

And why is it that I always choke up in the clutch? The prettier the girl, the more nervous I get, and my mind goes blank of all witty conversation, and I can't come up with anything to say. (Well, unless my lips have been loosened with alcohol- "beer balls," if you will.) Yea, I dunno, I think that's as sure a sign as any that I wouldn't make it in the "wild." I lack the proper hunters' instincts; I'm doomed to be a victim of natural selection. =/ Yea, my parents have my brother to carry on the family name- I'm a lost cause.

Additional notes on hunting: They say that when lions are hunting, they single out one member of a herd to focus on and take out. And the way that zebras protect themselves is by using their stripes, running past each other, and confusing the lions so that they can't keep track of which one was their target. If the lion doesn't keep its eye on the ball, after awhile, it gets tired and has to go home hungry. Likewise, I'm an easily confused lion; when there's more than one potential target, I get confused and don't know where to focus my attention. I suppose that's why it's best to hunt in packs, hah. You suppose other animals use wingmen as well? =P