The Mad Scientists' Corner (Vol. 5). The inventive part of the ol' noggin at work again.
6-Ply Toilet Paper. I've said it before and I'll say it again: one-ply toilet paper is the work of the devil! Two-ply is the norm, and I think if you're truly baller, there's some 3-ply to be had out there. But one thing I've noticed, and I'm sure most do instinctively, is that the number of sheets you need is inversely proportional to the ply count. That is, a job that takes maybe three 2-ply sheets may take like six single-ply sheets. The total number of laminae must be equal to or greater than a critical minimum to maintain manual sanitation amidst rectal purification. For my own bum at least, I've come to the numerical average of approximately 6 plies total for one typical "go" at the job. But you know, if ever there was a task that could be made more efficient in the bathroom, it's all that time we spend folding toilet paper. So I figure, why not just eliminate that entire step from the process? Instead of taking lower-ply sheets and folding 'em to achieve the faux higher ply count, why not just manufacture the toilet paper with like 6 layers? Then all you'd need to do is tear off a single 6-ply sheet to do the job. Simple, easy. I think until we get that 3 seashells thing happening, this would have to suffice.
Disposable Pan Lining. I really hate doing dishes, so whenever possible (and I don't feel too cheap about it), I use like paper plates, bowls, cups, plasticware, and the like. Hell, they even have disposable cutting boards now too. But I've realized that even when I go uber cheap/lazy like that, I still have to wash the pots & pans and whatnot that I cooked with. If only there was a method of cooking something, and then tossing the vessel used for heating. I thought about it, and I guess a crude solution would be to line the pans with foil, and toss the foil afterwards. But I don't think foil is hardy enough to survive many cooking situations; plus I hear it's terrible for you to chew/eat foil, should it happen to come apart during the cooking process. No, this would require some non-stick, heat (melt)/oil/chemical resistant material that's still versatile or pliable enough to fit the vast assortment of pot/pan/wok shapes/sizes out there. (And of course, it still needs to conduct heat from pan to food well enough that you're still actually cooking.) I thought maybe it'd be cool if it came in spray form, and it quickly solidified and caked around the pan, and afterwards you could just peel it off and toss it. I dunno, this idea still needs some more thought regarding implementation.
Strategic Tanning/Contouring. I went and played golf with my dad the other day, and I was wearing an unbuttoned polo shirt and apparently didn't apply enough sunblock to my neck region. I ended up getting a light sunburn on my lower neck/upper chest in the slight V-shape of the polo shirt collar opening. Once the sunburn subsided into tan, I looked into the mirror barechested and noticed that curiously, the V-shaped tan accentuated the upper, inner curvature of my pecs. Later that night, the topic of contouring makeup came into a conversation between me and some friends. Apparently, with the aid of contouring makeup, women (and some men) can accentuate their bone structure, make their faces look fatter/thinner. Hell, you could probably make it look like you had 5 cheekbones if you wanted. Well later on, I got to thinking, can't you achieve a lot of the shadowing effects of contouring makeup through a little bit of creative tanning? A subtle, strategically placed tanline could totally help accentuate (exaggerate) the "cuts" of muscle definition. With a little bit of study, I'm sure you could create like a tanning suit (to block out light in areas to remain light-skinned, and allow it through in areas to be tanned) to be worn by the weekend warrior for use during tanning to achieve that cut, muscular look. It'd be like contouring makeup, except all over your body, and without the need for repetitive application, cuz hey, it's a tan, ya know?
Previous Edition>>
6-Ply Toilet Paper. I've said it before and I'll say it again: one-ply toilet paper is the work of the devil! Two-ply is the norm, and I think if you're truly baller, there's some 3-ply to be had out there. But one thing I've noticed, and I'm sure most do instinctively, is that the number of sheets you need is inversely proportional to the ply count. That is, a job that takes maybe three 2-ply sheets may take like six single-ply sheets. The total number of laminae must be equal to or greater than a critical minimum to maintain manual sanitation amidst rectal purification. For my own bum at least, I've come to the numerical average of approximately 6 plies total for one typical "go" at the job. But you know, if ever there was a task that could be made more efficient in the bathroom, it's all that time we spend folding toilet paper. So I figure, why not just eliminate that entire step from the process? Instead of taking lower-ply sheets and folding 'em to achieve the faux higher ply count, why not just manufacture the toilet paper with like 6 layers? Then all you'd need to do is tear off a single 6-ply sheet to do the job. Simple, easy. I think until we get that 3 seashells thing happening, this would have to suffice.
Disposable Pan Lining. I really hate doing dishes, so whenever possible (and I don't feel too cheap about it), I use like paper plates, bowls, cups, plasticware, and the like. Hell, they even have disposable cutting boards now too. But I've realized that even when I go uber cheap/lazy like that, I still have to wash the pots & pans and whatnot that I cooked with. If only there was a method of cooking something, and then tossing the vessel used for heating. I thought about it, and I guess a crude solution would be to line the pans with foil, and toss the foil afterwards. But I don't think foil is hardy enough to survive many cooking situations; plus I hear it's terrible for you to chew/eat foil, should it happen to come apart during the cooking process. No, this would require some non-stick, heat (melt)/oil/chemical resistant material that's still versatile or pliable enough to fit the vast assortment of pot/pan/wok shapes/sizes out there. (And of course, it still needs to conduct heat from pan to food well enough that you're still actually cooking.) I thought maybe it'd be cool if it came in spray form, and it quickly solidified and caked around the pan, and afterwards you could just peel it off and toss it. I dunno, this idea still needs some more thought regarding implementation.
Strategic Tanning/Contouring. I went and played golf with my dad the other day, and I was wearing an unbuttoned polo shirt and apparently didn't apply enough sunblock to my neck region. I ended up getting a light sunburn on my lower neck/upper chest in the slight V-shape of the polo shirt collar opening. Once the sunburn subsided into tan, I looked into the mirror barechested and noticed that curiously, the V-shaped tan accentuated the upper, inner curvature of my pecs. Later that night, the topic of contouring makeup came into a conversation between me and some friends. Apparently, with the aid of contouring makeup, women (and some men) can accentuate their bone structure, make their faces look fatter/thinner. Hell, you could probably make it look like you had 5 cheekbones if you wanted. Well later on, I got to thinking, can't you achieve a lot of the shadowing effects of contouring makeup through a little bit of creative tanning? A subtle, strategically placed tanline could totally help accentuate (exaggerate) the "cuts" of muscle definition. With a little bit of study, I'm sure you could create like a tanning suit (to block out light in areas to remain light-skinned, and allow it through in areas to be tanned) to be worn by the weekend warrior for use during tanning to achieve that cut, muscular look. It'd be like contouring makeup, except all over your body, and without the need for repetitive application, cuz hey, it's a tan, ya know?
Previous Edition>>
posted by Dear Daniel at 7:00 PM
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