Totemism. Those of you who know me know that I don't typically align myself with any of the major mainstream religions (though occasionally I might claim a vague allegiance to Buddhism). But for the most part I would consider myself a "Freethinker" (a term that isn't used much in the US, but that I picked up in Singapore)- and I kinda like that title, cuz (in addition to sounding better than "I made up my own religion,") it lets you pick and choose elements of spirituality from different schools of thought that suit you without having to officially declare fealty to any one doctrine (though I guess in strict terms, "real" freethinking should be grounded mainly in scientific principles). And when you decide you no longer agree with something, you can just drop it, without the whole guilt trip of traditional crises of faith. Plus, it seems to be socially frowned upon to publicly declare you're an atheist; "freethinker" sounds much less incendiary.

In the past couple years, I've picked up bits of shamanism (adding to the schools of neopaganism I occasionally identify with). From the Wikipedia article on totems: "In modern times, some single individuals, not otherwise involved in the practice of a tribal religion, have chosen to adopt a personal spirit animal helper, which has special meaning to them, and refer to this as a totem."

In strict terms, I'm not sure if it counts as a totem, but when I think of myself as an animal, I used to always like imagining myself as a bear. But recently, I've been leaning more towards gorilla it seems. (In the vein of "it's on like Donkey Kong!") And apparently I've taken to the Tarzan-esque practice of beating on my chest when drunk. -_- I guess you could say I'm channeling a silverback or something, hah.

Now, I haven't done the whole spirit quest thing to know for sure what my true animal is, but I've always just gone with what felt about right- and right now, it's gorilla. I remember as a kid, I used to go with a bird, or maybe occasionally some form of predatory cat. I dunno, I guess you just choose a totem animal with the qualities you identify with or want to take on- and right now, I guess cuz I subconsciously keep thinking I'm too weak, I channel an animal known for its strength? Yea, but I'm not sure why I always used to go with bear- maybe cuz the idea of hibernation really appeals to me? =P

(Did you know that: According to a theory of spirit possession, the berserkergang (berserk rage) was achieved through possession by the animal spirit of either a bear or a wolf. Berserkers would cultivate an ability to allow the animal spirit to take over their body during a fight. This is seen as a somewhat peculiar application of animal totemism. ~Wikipedia) Have I also mentioned that the concept of lycanthropy (werewolves) really appeals to me?

As an aside, I remember in Singapore, I was occasionally referred to as the "red bull." The red I assume was a reference to my hair color. Not entirely where the "bull" part came in, hah- Texas longhorns? built like a bull? horn-like sideburns??