Tales of a Fourth Year Nothing. So I find myself now in the midst of my final semester (hopefully) at UT. I’ve always been one to settle into a pattern or swing of things, put down some roots. And soon this world I’ve built up over the last four years will be drawing to a close. If our lives can be described as stories, I think there’re these different chapters in our lives, and after each one is over, they’re over and don’t significantly affect the rest of the plot. But this story of mine is at a dramatic turning point, and I find myself at a crossroads of many one-way streets.

I feel like I’m at some sort of cusp in my life. There’s like an obstacle in my path half a year down the line that I just absolutely cannot see beyond (i.e. graduation, getting a job, and all that entails- what I’ll be doing, where I’ll move to, what my new lifestyle will be like, etc.). The uncertainty of it all drives me wild, so I try not to think about it too much, but it inevitably finds its way back into my conscious thoughts.

I would not have imagined senior of high school that this is the state I would find myself in. I really feel like I entered college with a lot more direction and sense of purpose than I’m leaving with. Four years ago, I thought I knew with absolute certainty what I wanted to do with my life, and now...? ...?? ...??? I have no idea what I want anymore. To be happy? To be me? What the hell does it all even mean?

Sometimes I wish I could stop time so I wouldn’t have to make these big hard decisions. But I can’t (well, not until I get a temporal flux capacitor, anyways), and c’est la vie. It’s like the world of Middle Earth College is coming to an end, and the age of the Working Man is upon us. All we can do is bite the bullet and try to finish things with a bang instead of a whimper. Cuz from here on out, it’s off to the real-world, and out there it’s a dog-eat-dog kinda place. Now's the time to party hearty- party like it's your birthday, party like it's 1999... well, you get the idea. This is a semester to live boldly, to savour the dying days of our youth, so let's make it count, eh?

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more"
~Shakespeare's Henry V; Act III, Scene 1

“And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times'll never change
Keep on thinking things'll always be the same
When we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cuz we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cuz you don't have another day
Cuz we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels...

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly”
~Vitamin C - Graduation