(Mommy wow,) I’m a big kid now! I guess I’m starting to come to terms with growing up and the idea of adulthood. It wasn't like turning a switch on; it was a gradual process that is hard to see in the works. Small things. I promised myself I’d never outgrow kids' cereals, but I’ve cooled on froot loops, no longer cuckoo for cocoa puffs- there was a bit of melancholy after I realized that I bought myself fruit & bran cereal. Interests change. The party days won't last forever. I fear my clubbing days may be numbered. (Sure, it's still fun with friends, but it’s simply not the place to meet anyone who's playing for keeps.) College definitely had its share of fun times, but perhaps it IS time to move on. I think I’m nearly ready. Life comes at you in stages; nothing gold can stay. Can't live dormant in your current state forever.
I guess that's part of why I’m not intent on this grad school thing right away. At first, part of me thought that it'd just be another 2 years of undergrad style partying. But it's not; it can't be- everyone you knew, who you partied with, will have gone their separate ways. You cannot recreate that undergrad environment & experience- ever. When the music stops and the lights come up, it's time to move on- the party doesn't keep going just because you stay inside the club.
I remember talking to Steve (L.) during the summer and he expressed that he was graduating early cuz there wasn't much left for him in college- he'd had the college experience, been to the parties, lived the highs, he was ready to move on. I didn't understand completely at the time, but I think I’m beginning to. Have I had the college experience? Oh, I dunno- it's still hard for me to define what it was. They say it's supposed to be the best 4 years of your life; I dunno about that, but parts of it have definitely been memorable. Nights staying up playing magic, poker, watching movies, casual brunches, eating out, working out, hanging out. Being away from that environment for awhile and just thinking about it, a smile crosses my face, and then I know that they were good times.
“Maybe that's all family really is- a group of people that miss the same imaginary place." Well maybe that's all college really is- a memory of the good times that you had for 4 years with friends. If I went back to UT after graduation, I doubt it’d be the same. The people there WERE the college experience. The friends, the rivals, the enemies. Never again at any point will the same group of people be assembled again in the same location. That’s the experience that can't be repeated- the imaginary place. That's all the memory of college really is- the same group of people missing the same imaginary place.
I guess that's part of why I’m not intent on this grad school thing right away. At first, part of me thought that it'd just be another 2 years of undergrad style partying. But it's not; it can't be- everyone you knew, who you partied with, will have gone their separate ways. You cannot recreate that undergrad environment & experience- ever. When the music stops and the lights come up, it's time to move on- the party doesn't keep going just because you stay inside the club.
I remember talking to Steve (L.) during the summer and he expressed that he was graduating early cuz there wasn't much left for him in college- he'd had the college experience, been to the parties, lived the highs, he was ready to move on. I didn't understand completely at the time, but I think I’m beginning to. Have I had the college experience? Oh, I dunno- it's still hard for me to define what it was. They say it's supposed to be the best 4 years of your life; I dunno about that, but parts of it have definitely been memorable. Nights staying up playing magic, poker, watching movies, casual brunches, eating out, working out, hanging out. Being away from that environment for awhile and just thinking about it, a smile crosses my face, and then I know that they were good times.
“Maybe that's all family really is- a group of people that miss the same imaginary place." Well maybe that's all college really is- a memory of the good times that you had for 4 years with friends. If I went back to UT after graduation, I doubt it’d be the same. The people there WERE the college experience. The friends, the rivals, the enemies. Never again at any point will the same group of people be assembled again in the same location. That’s the experience that can't be repeated- the imaginary place. That's all the memory of college really is- the same group of people missing the same imaginary place.
posted by Dear Daniel at 7:00 AM
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