Resurrected feelings do not bury again easily. The excuses I gave myself the first time will not work again, it seems. I find myself having a very hard time letting go of something that (I suppose) was never truly mine in the first place.

...but I'm sick of agonizing, and I know this is nobody's fault but my own. I need to get on with my life. By whatever means necessary, I really... need... to fix my life. And I'm sorry to keep making you read letters, but it really is therapeutic for me to write them.

"We write to apologize,
We ask to look past life as it goes by
I know you have sacrificed time,
Life, love, time to fly.
Please consider all things trite,
Forgiveness will be the thing that gets us by.
I know to have something like this broken
Is hard to fix.

Embers, we're burning bridges down,
Envelopes stuffed with feelings found,
To write this down as means to reconcile."
~ Mae - "Embers and Envelopes"