Showers at home are pretty uncomplicated- everything's there for you: soap, shampoo, towel, and (in my bathroom) underwear. But here at college, there's so many things you have to take with you, it gets pretty crazy. Yea, so I got out of the shower today and was toweling off, and I look over at my pile of clothes and am thinking hmmmm... something sure seems to be missing... So I'm flipping through my pajamas, flopping 'em around and all and it dawns on me... NO UNDERPANTS!!! Arrgghhhh... HAGGIS! (*Note: "Haggis" is my new expression of general frustration. It means roughly the same thing as "arg.")
But man, that's never happened before over an entire semester- weird. I bet some wacko stole it and is running around with a genuine pair of vintage Daniel underpants or something. Man, at least my underpants no longer have my name (or initials) on 'em anymore. Hah, omg, that would be so embarassing... seriously, if you lose your underwear and someone finds it, I don't think you want it back. You'd have to live with the shame of someone knowing you were stupid enough to lose it in the first place, hahaha. Man, I remember back in elementary school, when they took our entire grade to Camp Classen, and in the letter to the parents, the parents were encouraged to write their kids' names on their underwear. Agghhh... my parents did it, hahaha. Yup, for years afterwards, my initials could be found on the waistband of my underwear... but NO MORE! Hah, anyways... but seriously though, I doubt anyone would steal a pair of underpants out of the shower- that's just plain weird. A more logical explanation is probably that I just forgot to bring a pair into the shower in the first place. I keep my pajamas and my underwear in separate drawers in my room, so it's easy to take one in to the showers and miss the other.
So there I was in the shower with no underwear. What to do, what to do? Well, I stood there evaluating my options for a sec... 1) go commando, or 2) put on the dirty pair I just took off. Streaking was definitely out of the question at so early an hour. I mean, option 2 certainly seemed like the more "normal" choice, but that was like something of a moral dilemma. (You see, I guess I'm something of a germaphobe. I mean, certainly not to the extent portrayed in Seinfeld, but like, I wash my hands, clothes, face, and body a whole lot more than I probably need to- especially the clothes. I don't know why, but I always think that clothes are a lot dirtier than they are. So I'm pretty blehhhh about putting on unwashed clothes that I've worn already.) So what did I do? Well, I remembered that phrase about how you can go twice as long without doing laundry by turning your underwear inside out. That's it! Genius!, I thought. I'd always shrugged it off as a silly idea, but dang, when you're in a pinch, it's a really good solution to a problem. Seriously, it worked a lot better than I imagined; remarkably, it feels EXACTLY the same inside out as it does normal. (As a youth, I had this crazy notion that when a garment with elastic was flipped inside out, it'd expand uncontrollably, as if the [polarity] of the elastic contraction had been reversed, haha. Yea, crazy, weird, I know.) So yea, if you ever find yourself without a clean pair of underwear, remember you can flip the pair you're wearing inside out. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." ~GI Joe
*Today at lunch, we had to use plastic silverware, paper cups, and styrofoam trays. I mean, it's not really a big deal or anything, it's just not what we're used to. They had a sign that said it was due to an "emergency plumbing" issue, but personally, I think somebody in the kitchen just got LAZY! Haha, must... resist... urge... to make... racist joke, hahahah!
But man, that's never happened before over an entire semester- weird. I bet some wacko stole it and is running around with a genuine pair of vintage Daniel underpants or something. Man, at least my underpants no longer have my name (or initials) on 'em anymore. Hah, omg, that would be so embarassing... seriously, if you lose your underwear and someone finds it, I don't think you want it back. You'd have to live with the shame of someone knowing you were stupid enough to lose it in the first place, hahaha. Man, I remember back in elementary school, when they took our entire grade to Camp Classen, and in the letter to the parents, the parents were encouraged to write their kids' names on their underwear. Agghhh... my parents did it, hahaha. Yup, for years afterwards, my initials could be found on the waistband of my underwear... but NO MORE! Hah, anyways... but seriously though, I doubt anyone would steal a pair of underpants out of the shower- that's just plain weird. A more logical explanation is probably that I just forgot to bring a pair into the shower in the first place. I keep my pajamas and my underwear in separate drawers in my room, so it's easy to take one in to the showers and miss the other.
So there I was in the shower with no underwear. What to do, what to do? Well, I stood there evaluating my options for a sec... 1) go commando, or 2) put on the dirty pair I just took off. Streaking was definitely out of the question at so early an hour. I mean, option 2 certainly seemed like the more "normal" choice, but that was like something of a moral dilemma. (You see, I guess I'm something of a germaphobe. I mean, certainly not to the extent portrayed in Seinfeld, but like, I wash my hands, clothes, face, and body a whole lot more than I probably need to- especially the clothes. I don't know why, but I always think that clothes are a lot dirtier than they are. So I'm pretty blehhhh about putting on unwashed clothes that I've worn already.) So what did I do? Well, I remembered that phrase about how you can go twice as long without doing laundry by turning your underwear inside out. That's it! Genius!, I thought. I'd always shrugged it off as a silly idea, but dang, when you're in a pinch, it's a really good solution to a problem. Seriously, it worked a lot better than I imagined; remarkably, it feels EXACTLY the same inside out as it does normal. (As a youth, I had this crazy notion that when a garment with elastic was flipped inside out, it'd expand uncontrollably, as if the [polarity] of the elastic contraction had been reversed, haha. Yea, crazy, weird, I know.) So yea, if you ever find yourself without a clean pair of underwear, remember you can flip the pair you're wearing inside out. "Now you know, and knowing is half the battle." ~GI Joe
*Today at lunch, we had to use plastic silverware, paper cups, and styrofoam trays. I mean, it's not really a big deal or anything, it's just not what we're used to. They had a sign that said it was due to an "emergency plumbing" issue, but personally, I think somebody in the kitchen just got LAZY! Haha, must... resist... urge... to make... racist joke, hahahah!
posted by Dear Daniel at 9:36 PM
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