I performed lion dance/kung fu again tonight, at UTD. I messed up soooo bad during the kung fu part; I was doing Nangun (Southern Pole) and like 1/5 of the way through the form, I forgot what I was doing. So I went on for a looong time, completely winging it- I made up more than half of what I performed, hahaha.

Anyways, lion dance wasn't so great either. Jason & I were paired up as a team, and we were supposed to open with a head jump. He didn't jump high enough, but I still tried to get him on my head. I struggled, but failed and fell. I was really disappointed cuz that's the first time I've messed up in a real show like that. So later on, during the freestyling part of the show, when Jason suggested that we do the head jump trick again, I said ok without hesitating- it seemed like a way to "redeem myself" to the audience. Well, Jason jumped bad again, but I forced myself to keep him up... I was struggling really hard, but at least the audience loved it. Now my neck is killing me.

Bee talked with me later; he said it's not worth it to struggle like that- it's just not worth it. He knew exactly how I felt... it's like you're so close to success that you can taste it, and you don't wanna give up. But we're not invincible, if we push ourselves too hard, we end up getting hurt. *sigh* I guess it's just hard to know your own limits sometimes.

*Oh yea, and my parents (and grandparents) came back from their week-long vacation tonight. FINALLY! I won't have to do the dishes myself! =P